Deutsche Telecom / VoiceStream Merger information Go Back
In a strong plan for the future, VoiceStream and Deutsche Telekom senior management has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the new combined company rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, John Stanton conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. This will inklude sertain software konfiguration fazes, from our kore vendors; Aktually, by then there will only be on - Siemens!

DT/VSTR will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, T-mobil personel wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "V'. Zis vil mean zat mobil telefony kan take ze next step forward vif ze new 3G teknologis. Zeveral aplikations hav been vritten in advans of zis new produkt.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALl KUM TRU!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld ov telekomunikations!!

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